Interested in joining our rag tag crew? Perhaps you just feel like punching Sir Nagsalot's precious nag-hole? We're always happy to meet and share our riding experiences with new people. Membership is free, and anyone is welcome to join.
Sorry, we're still pretty Old School, so you can't sign up on your own through the website. You'll actually have to email us, so please drop us a line at email@example.com. We will gladly add you to our mailing list. In addition, you'll receive log-in credentials to use in this site to access further trip details, our library of past newletters, and other items. Don't worry: we hate junk mail as much as you do and will never share your email address with any other organization, period!
Also, if you're a Facebook fan, you may find us there too. Just click here.
Questions Asked With Unusual Frequency
1) May I ride with the Bicycle Boys without being a member?
Sure can! We think we're a fun bunch and would like you to think so too before you join. We've tried to make everything as simple as possible. If you're interested in coming on a ride or trip, just contact the sponsor directly. We'll always provide a contact for each event. No hoops. No loops. Of course, you do realize that membership is FREE, right?
2) What if I just don't like biking?
Eeek! (Insert swoon here) Goodness, I do declare I must've caught the vapors! Well, I guess crashing into trees or flipping over handlebars isn't everyone's cup of tea. Don't worry; we're not going to hate on you. In fact, we have plenty of folks in our club who never ride: hikers, campers, off-roaders, photographers, drinkers, etc. You don't have to have a bike to enjoy most trips.
3) Yeah, joining sounds easy, but is this some wacky cult where I'll need to hire high-powered lawyers or perform ungodly acts to get out?
While we considered bizarre rituals for folks wanting out, we realized that we were too lazy to bother. So, as for all people, things change in our lives; and if you'd rather not receive our emails and club updates anymore, please just drop us a line at firstname.lastname@example.org. We'll cross you off our list and bid you a friendly farewell. Oh, but you WILL need to pay us a "demembershiping" fee of $0.
4) Do I have to buy all the stuff listed on "The Sport" for the first ride?
No. If you are new to the sport, you might want to rent or borrow a bike, helmet and some gloves. Once you discover the thrill that comes with mountain biking, you will also learn the value of good equipment. Over time you will accumulate more gear, as you become a better rider.
5) Will riding with the Bicycle Boys make me gay?
No, but you might turn into a pedalphile or bikesexual! (Get it?!?) It is also important to note that while we are the most active, gay mountain biking club around, we are NOT the most gay, active mountain biking club around. Riding in platform shoes and flowing feather boas, while undeniably a fantastic sight to behold, is just not very practical. Try it! We think you'll agree.
6) Darn! So what will make me gay?
Just a theory, but if you're a guy, the uncontrollable desire to wear makeup, put on fabulous wigs, dance to Streisand, make fabulous floral arrangements and redesign rooms will probably make you gay... so very, very gay indeed! Oh, overusing the word "fabulous" is also a promising sign.
7) Is the club a good way to "meet" others (wink, wink)?
Well, aren't you a cheeky monkey! Truth be told, the club has not proven itself to be an effective way for people to "hook up." We don't think we're a bunch of hideous jerks, but you can look at our photos to judge for yourself. Fact is, we're a mountain biking club. We love biking. The only things we seem to ride are bikes, and the only things we seem to lube are chains. Sigh...
8) Speaking of which, I was looking at your ugly mugs in the Photos section and noticed you don't list any names. Why so shy?
Oh, you and your flattery. Simply put, not everyone is comfortable having his or her name posted on the Great Internet. That being the case, our policy is to not name anyone, whether they're comfortable or not. Kinda like that time when my lawyer told me to plead the Fifth to all questions... But that's another story.
9) Most of the of the trails and rides listed on this web site sound pretty intimidating. What's a beginner bike rider to do?
Not all trails will break you or your bike. Most of us started out on the gravel paths running through the city. The club has a pamphlet rating dozens of trails that are well suited for beginners. You may freely print out a copy from the link here. Try out a couple of easy trails on your own (most folks ride more comfortably if there's no peer pressure from others) or give us a holler if you'd rather have some company. Many club members welcome the chance to ride something easier for a change and introduce others to the sport.
10) Speaking of rides, what are they like?
Well, you sit on this two-wheeled contraption, push the two "pedals" on both sides, and fun inevitably ensues. Until you run into an immovable object. Then fun ensues for everyone else! Kidding!! Other than that, club rides come in at least four different flavors:
- Day rides are just one-day outings. We generally carpool up to the mountains in the morning, ride, have lunch on the trail, and head back home by the afternoon. Everyone rides at their own pace. To keep riders from getting separated, an experienced rider usually leads the pack while another sweeps up the rear, and we regroup at trail intersections. Cost is generally free, although contributions to the carpool drivers for gas are greatly appreciated.
- Evening or training rides are sponsored occasionally after work during the peak riding season. They're held close by in the foothills just west of town due to the limited hours of daylight.
- Multi-day or weekend trips are usually sponsored a couple of times each month. Overnight lodgings may range from campsites to rustic cabins and huts to luxurious condos and vacation homes. We plan for multiple rides over the entire trip, but individuals may often choose to do their own activities. Meals of some sort (often quite gourmet!) are usually included. Prices are minimal to cover the costs of lodging, food, and other items. These are also the only rides which incur the $5 trip fee to fund the minimal financial needs of the club.
- Lastly, there are the bike-n-beer rides. They're day rides but tend to be more laid-back and social. Often, they are exploratory to seek out new, fun rides in the area. Drinks and food afterwards in a nearby bar or brewery serve to compensate for any bad trails or celebrate any newly found gems.
11) What do you guys do in the winter?
Until snowbiking catches on, the club basically hibernates in the winter. Many members switch to their winter gear to enjoy the abundance of snow in the mountains. Downhill and crosscountry skiing, snowboarding, snowshoeing, and competitive hot cocoa sipping are all popular winter sports. Sometimes members will sponsor day trips or multi-day getaways for the club. More often, they just get together with friends for spontaneous outings. Of course, there are those who temporarily flee the cold and go biking on vacation trips to warmer settings in Mexico, Australia, Hawaii, or elsewhere.
12) Back to the gay issue... Let's say I know a friend who really wants to become gay, how...
NEXT QUESTION!!! ...please.
13) How much will a good mountain bike cost me?
Good news: mountain biking overall is cheaper than road biking. Bad news: it's still not cheap, by any means. An amazing amount of research and innovation has gone into the development of today's mountain bike, and that is reflected in the price. High end bikes can sell for $5,000 and beyond (NOT including streamers or banana seats!). Yikes! Luckily, you can find competent starter hardtail bikes as low as $800, while $1,500 will fetch a decent full-suspension bike.
Sir Nagsalot strongly recommends that you buy from a reputable bike shop rather than a department or "big box" store, as you will find better selection, more knowledgeable staff, and superior bike assembly. Bargains can be found at the end of the season when shops want to reduce their inventory for the winter months, and again in the spring when shops want to clear out last year's models. If you know what you want, you may have success finding your next bike on E-Bay, Craigslist, MTBR.com, or some other internet site.
14) Your trips are priced so low. What's the catch?
The "catch" is that we're not a guide service. Unlike commercial outfitters, club trips are sponsored and funded by individual members who split their costs equally between all participants. The club does not generate or keep any profits other than the $5 surcharge added to the cost of multi-day trips. Riders are basically sharing the costs with their friends. Any excess money is generally refunded back to trip goers. The "catch" for such bargains: don't expect trip hosts to do all the chores, set up your tents, or regale you with stale stories told to countless others. And if a boulder drops on your bike or head, you may get loads of sympathy, but don't expect any legal compensation.
15) Sounds like you're just a silly bunch of friends. Are you a fully licensed, bonded, and insured organization? Are you current with Federal Tax Code 405B, and are you compliant with Statute 9004 from the Business Association of Colorado?
Whoa, where did all the precious time go? Sorry, kidos, there will be no more questions!!
Reading this website, do you really think any sane business would license or insure us? In all honesty, we joke around here a lot, but we're not going to promise you anything we're not upfront about. If you want to ride with some cool, informal people, hang with us. If you want to sign pages and pages of legal waivers, there are lots of more responsible (and richer!) clubs out there. If you're bored and feel like suing us for moola, Sir Nagsalot's holdings in Consolidated Serfdoms haven't been doing very well, so good luck getting this poor, little rock to bleed.
16) That sounds sad. How can I help out? Does your club take donations?
It may sound sad, but instead of just writing us a check, come join us on a day ride or multi-day trip. We're not here to rake in the big bucks. We ARE very happy to meet new friends!
That said, the club does continue to incur modest expenses in maintaining this web site, sponsoring a few social events, and donating to charitable organizations and causes. Thankfully, the small $5 trip surcharge (see question #10) should be enough to keep us chugging along. So come on a weekend trip.
17) Are these real Questions Asked With Unusual Frequency or did you just make them up?
Okay, we made some up. It's pretty easy to guess which ones. Again, we think we're a fun bunch of folks, and if you've read all the way down to this last question, hopefully you'll agree. Thanks for your attention, patience, and sense of humor.
Couldn't find your specific inquiries in the QAWUF? Please feel free to point out our inadequacies at email@example.com.
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